29may12
eating just for the sake of energy but can’t bring myself to drag myself up for breakfast. the next day to myself is sunday and i think i’m somewhere in my week and a half-th day straight of working.
i hate when things don’t go my way and i use those words in placement of “plans change” because normally i’d conform with most things at this predictable point in my life.
why do things and people arise when i’ve lost my interest in them? i’m only working to pass the time, i feel like. with all the money i’ve saved up, i currently feel inspired by blink-182’s “the rock show” music video. i don’t have much of a lust drive anymore but i still won’t turn down an empty room to my laptop and myself. that’s right. my shamelessness and indifference is back.
my dinner’s still sitting in front of me, i noticed. i guess i’ll put it away. and then i guess i’ll shower. and then i guess i’ll lay in bed and stuff. kay.
we’ll all float on okay.
it’s been a while and i really have been trying my best to carry on with a new phase in my life. things are changing slowly but at the rate of increase of new things to put on the coming soon list it begins to feel rapid. more working hours, more options, less limits, more me. i hate to admit it and i won’t confirm it yet but i’m beginning to feel like my everyday plans are now entirely solo. my decisions depend on only myself, it seems. but time will reveal those branching details.
well it’s almost 0900 on this thursday morning. leaving fort indiantown gap tomorrow and then back to my civilian job. for now i’ve gotta get this combat lifesaver course finished with. time to play with some bloody mannequins.
yeeeeeee bol
wailingpaddle
leave it to this hour in the night for my mind to wander among silly topics.
in most cases, two people with so much in common would get along perfectly well. i’m not so sure if that would apply to someone as care-free and wistful, and even as careless as me. i like to believe i’m fun-loving and emotionally spontaneous (more often outside of serious personal blogging as this tumblr) but even so, i’d prefer a yin to my yang, someone who can serve as an anchor to my unrealistic dreaming. i don’t think i’d be able to co-exist for long with someone who kept escalating everyday aspects like i do. raising the roof is my job! besides, i already drive most people crazy (in good and bad ways, mind you).
in all seriousness, i feel as though i can be a burden for anyone considering falling in love with me. i do so many things solo with the exception of few people i spend a great amount of my time with.
loners in pairs don’t exist. but then again, i still believe that there are people who exist for each other. yeah, i’m dumb.
never take the brothers away (Taken with instagram)
10may12
i’ve spent the last three nights in the same dining room chair eating my final meal of the day, may it be my 2nd or 3rd over an exaggerated time span of up to an hour and a half, letting my mind wander as i play music from my phone. whether it spawns from a wave of neutrality in my concurrent life or it’s just me in my natural lonesome, i haven’t had this much time to myself in a while to be of certainty.
fuck it, i’ve been working all week with only one more day left. let the drinks lead my weekend.
/ >
